June 27th, 2004
Dear Carol,
Tears came for you.
We were driving on Highway 4, going to the Antioch Water Park — a family outing for friendly Aya’s 7th birthday. We drove past the Concord Naval Weapons Station Exit and then, after 2 weeks of justifying our estrangement, the tears came. The tears came for you, Carol. A flood of memory. All those demonstrations together! And words came too, like talking points to my aging 49 year-old memory bank — CISPES, Nicaragua, Brian Wilson, Carrie, JoAnne, The Contras, Civil Disobedience or Not, Billy Nessen, those red bandannas, and stolen railway spikes.
The hot Clayton hills, hot like your anger.
Carol, the flame of your anger could be useful at times. It made you into a doer, an artist. It was often intelligently on target. But those other times, Carol. You know what they are. I am laying those to rest — with compassion, for you, for me, and for you and me. May your energy, all that it is, burn into the hope of your beautiful children, your beautiful Derek, your beautiful Kate. Oh, and how could I forget, your beautiful, angry words.
With Love,
Take Care,
See You on the Long Journey,
Diana
